Frayed Read online

This trip was planned a month ago, before Emma left to shoot a film in some private Greek Island. I really was ecstatic that Emma was doing her thing and a month ago, nothing could’ve stopped me from going to see one of my best friends.

  But that was a month ago. A couple of days after Emma left, my life crumbled before me.

  When I heard a knock on the door, I distractedly went for it. I was momentarily taken aback when I saw Carter standing outside looking fresh out of the shower. “So you’re taking us to LAX, huh?” I asked while I studied his frowning expression. I liked Carter… back before he broke Emma’s heart.

  “Yup, where’s your luggage, Tris?” He asked glancing about the living room when I let him in.

  “It’s in my bedroom. Lemme go get it really quick.” I strode inside my room and was surprised that Carter followed me.

  Okay. I paused and looked at the infamous playboy again. He was acting rather odd. What gives?

  “I need a favor,” Carter murmured out of the blue.

  I knew it! He wouldn’t have gone all the way in my room if he didn’t need something. This favor would be about Emma. This douche bag, womanizing jerk wants something and I sure as hell won’t do it. He had caused enough damage to my friend. “If this is about Emma, you can forget about it, Carter. Let her go. You’ve done enough damaging shit.”

  He suddenly looked offended at my unexpected retort. Possibly because I was never mean to him, but when he cheated on my friend in the nastiest way possible, that’s where I drew the line.

  Carter handed me a white gift bag. “Tris, you know I would never ask you if this wasn’t so important. I love her and I just want you to give this to her.”

  “Carter, I don’t know about this.” I bit my lip as I eyed the item he was holding. Whatever was in it, it contained bad juju.

  He exhaled a breath as he gripped the bag. “Promise, I will owe you one, Tris. Just this once, that’s all I ask.” Carter suddenly looked a little unsure. I saw him run his fingers through his hair a few times.

  Well, maybe he should’ve thought it through before he decided to get down and do the nasty with Cece, Amanda and her trio of skankerettes. “Let it go, Carter. Emma’s doing her thing now. Besides, I don’t want to be on Bass Cole’s bad side, either. I mean they live in the same house… they may even be sharing the same room. Why would I risk that? What’s in the bag anyway?”

  Carter’s eyes bulged out. “Live in the same place?” He screeched. “FUCK! Fuck! Mother Fucker!”

  Yeah, buddy, that would be you aiming at yourself.

  Sighing, I moved towards my table and got my tote. “Let’s go.”

  When I spun around, I was surprised to see Carter… a little messed up? The hurt was so obvious on his face, I suddenly felt bad for him. “Carter?” I threw an empty water bottle at his direction.

  It went past him. Though his eyes flicked toward it, it didn’t change his state. I huffed out loud and waited for him to snap out of his idiotic, trance-like state. I should be a little considerate. After all, hadn’t I gone through the same crap four weeks ago? Yeah, Carter and I are in the same boat on this one. I guess I should be a little sympathetic.

  We were both, after all, cheaters.

  Funny, how admitting that now doesn’t hurt any longer. I felt numb inside. I hoped being around my friends would help me get through the hell that I made for myself. How I wished Amber was here. She would help lighten up the mood, her dumbass jokes always worked like charm.

  “Do you think Bass will be successful this time?” Carter asked, breaking my own thoughts.

  “Carter, LISTEN. The last time… Emma was super, hella, head-over-heels in love with you. After that kinky debauchery you pulled, though, I can’t answer that. Bass and Emma are like fireworks. They spark up and explode. Do you honestly think for a second that for the last month nothing’s been going on? Come on, dude. You’re smarter than that.”

  “Fireworks… how would you describe Em and me, then?” Carter looked up and his dark depths caught me off guard. Sure, I grew up with this idiot, BUT I admit… there are times I get caught off guard… speechless… when it comes to his hot-o-meter.

  “You and Em were like a ticking time bomb… hot and explosive… but it has a limit.”

  “I got her back after Bass almost got to her. I can do it again.” He sounded so sure of himself, too. Whatever, dude.

  “Sure, now, can we go? I feel weird doing heart to heart with you.” That granted me a smile. He begged me again about the stupid gift. Blah.

  “Fine! If shit hits the fan, I am blaming you, Carter! And you owe me BIG time.”

  Carter grinned at me sheepishly. “Thanks, Tris. I knew I could count on you.”

  “Whatever. Now move your tight ass out of my apartment before your crazy sister starts looking for us.”

  After five minutes, we were out of my place. Lindsey ran into my arms when she caught sight of me. “God! I have missed you, doll! Are you ready to rock and roll with the Greek gods?” Lindsey held me tightly, released me and pinched my cheeks.

  I admit, seeing my friend again made me feel good inside. I needed some light inside the darkness that I was in. Even a flicker amidst the dark hole was enough to suffice.

  Lindsey didn’t say much until we were on the freeway. “What was that in the white paper bag?” she directed the question to her brother, who just happened to tense up at her unexpected inquiry. I was seated in the back, so I just sat back and watched the siblings interact. I was going to let Carter handle this shit. He was the one who brought the damn thing, not I.

  “It was nothing, Linds. Stop prying.” Carter answered her sharply, telling her that the subject was not open for discussion.

  Like that would really shut his sister up.

  “Better be nothing, Carter. I don’t think I need to mention it again that Emma is better off without you. You fucked up, five times in one go, bro. She’s better off.” Lindsey looked at his brother with a determined stare. Carter stuck to driving without glancing at her.

  I was sure the man got the point. “Linds, that’s enough. I think your brother knows the extent of his fucked-up-ness. We all give him shit for it.” I managed to voice out. We were all protective of Emma. Even the guys that we were friends with are all giving Carter shit for it, too. He deserved what he got.

  Carter gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. “Emma might be with Bass now, but how long will that last until he dumps her? If you guys think I’m dirt because I get tempted from all the girls that throw themselves at me, then imagine the kind of treatment a Hollywood actor gets. He will end up hurting her.”

  Lindsey snorted and shook her head. “Yeah, I get that. Emma gets that, too, but it depends on the guy. Bass might be a playboy like you, but he will definitely focus on our girl. He’s that kind of man, Carter.”

  Yeah, just stab it where it hurts, chica.

  Bass was the hottest piece of yumminess, but I agreed with what Lindsey had just said. If anyone saw how that golden boy looked at Emma—like he was seeing the sun for the first time—his eyes glowing in awe and fascination, they would see that he only had eyes for her. That same fire was alive in Emma’s eyes, too. It was crazy to describe it like that, but that’s how it was with them, honest. If you watch them long enough, you get burned from the heat they exude.

  The awkward silence stretched out and I didn’t want to ponder my own demons that were on a temporary leave in my mind. “Where’s Brody?” I absentmindedly asked.

  “Probably fucking someone Carter already plowed through.” Lindsey paused, “if you need a run-through, let me update you. After Cece got deflowered by my dear brother . , S s he had a threesome with Brody and Cooper. This all happened when we were in high school. That didn’t change the fact that her venom expanded that far beyond that. Fucking gross bitch. You and your friends Carter… are seriously nasty. You need to get yourselves checked.”

  Carter snapped at those last words. “I can guarantee you th
at I’m clean through and through.”

  “I already knew about Carter and Cece,” I murmured. Cece was in love with Carter and she didn’t hesitate to grab the opportunity when Carter was drunk. Cece thought Carter would take her seriously afterwards, but when he treated her like nothing happened, Cece got desperate. She hooked up with Carter’s friends to ‘hurt’ him, but it never worked. I was completely convinced that to this day, Cece was still obsessed with Carter.

  Lindsey stabbed the radio button on and switched it to KIIS FM, not wanting to talk any longer. We rode quietly until we got to LAX.

  With all of stuff out of the SUV, Carter rounded the car and gave me a hug first. “Don’t forget to give her the present, please,” he whispered in my ear, pleading. “Thank you. Take care and have fun, Tris.” He murmured before kissing my forehead.

  Carter then went over to his gloating sister and gave her a bear hug. “I feel like you’re leaving me or something. Weird right? I’m going to miss your annoying butt, Baby Sis’.” Carter pulled out a credit card from his wallet, handing it to Lindsey. “Here, shop your heart out. I don’t want you to spend any of your money. Make sure you pay with this when you guys go to London and wherever else you guys are going.”

  That gesture sure made Lindsey happy. “Yay! You’re the best! I love you, Big Bro’ Man. Thank you!”

  “I love you, too, Linds. Now you girls be careful and always stay safe. No going home with random men, got it? Or I’ll haul both of your asses back home.” Carter gave us one more hug before he started to back off and head back to where his car was.

  We started to drag our luggage inside to check-in, but we heard him, he was yelling from his window. “Hey! Don’t forget to tell Emma that I’m still crazy about her. Bye girls!”

  We both rolled our eyes at him. “He’s one hopeless man,” Lindsey muttered, smiling.

  It really was too bad that he cheated because he and Emma would’ve been great together. It’s impossible to compete with Bass in the picture now, though. I mean, how would Carter win against a man who was so devoted to Emma? Bass took her seriously, and Carter simply did not.

  All checked in and through the security check, we still had one hour to burn until boarding, so we were both seated with our eyes stuck on our iPads, reading, when my phone beeped.

  Was it him? He knew I was leaving today. It must be him. With my heart beating wildly against my chest, I checked. My heart sunk that it wasn’t him, but I was a tad happy that it was Amber, instead.

  Amber: Hi doll. So sorry I haven’t been in communication. But I should be home in a month. All I have to do is go through a treatment facility in Phoenix. I don’t know why it’s that big of a deal. My parents didn’t think it was, so I don’t know why my grandmother is. Guess, I’ve really shaken the wrong matriarch this time, huh? It’s my only chance to get back to school. Grandma won’t let me go back until I finish. I will be checking out of the hospital tomorrow and will fly out there afterwards. Please don’t call. I don’t feel like talking, but I love and miss you guys.

  Hospital? “Fuck, what the hell happened!” I freaked out. My eyes reread the message again, just to make sure I got it right. It was still the same and I was left completely confused.

  “What? What are you talking about?” Lindsey jumped at my sudden freak-out.

  With tears in my eyes, I shoved the phone at her so she could read it herself. Her eyes quickly scanned it, “Oh, fuck! Damn it, Amber!” Lindsey stood up and I saw her press the call button. She started to pace until she got the voicemail. “Listen up, stop being a sissy and not taking any of our calls. We’re all worried about you. I can’t believe you always do this to us, each and every time. Damn it, we love you. Talk to us. Trista and I are leaving for Greece to visit Emma. Just in case you don’t know, she’s in a movie with Bass. Yeah, she’s with him now, just in case you didn’t know that, either. When you’re done getting your shit together, come back home. You’ll hear me bitch you out some more, but that should be expected. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I bitch you out because I do. Over and out. Bye.” Lindsey sunk back onto her seat and flicked my phone back to me.

  “She’s so fucked up. I feel helpless,” she stared at the floor.

  Heck yes, that woman was impossible. “I know, but we can’t do much about that. All we can do is be there for her.”

  “Always. We’re all she’s got, besides her grandma.” Lindsey clutched my hand and gave it a light squeeze.

  Yes, things might always fall apart around us, yet Amber could always count on friends to be there for her.

  Chapter 3

  About a month ago…

  Trista

  Those three days I had before the termination, I spent wallowing and pondering my situation. I declined all calls that went through my phone, including Emma and Lindsey’s. I was not in the frame of mind to speak to either of them. Maybe because if I did pick up one of their calls I would simply break down and I couldn’t risk that.

  No, I needed all my energy and focus on what was to come. I had to keep it all in and get it together. I had to. I deserved it. It was my cruel punishment for being a selfish slut. I only thought about what I wanted. Any guilt I felt towards my family, and most especially to Becka, I had pushed away and never thought of it again. Yeah, I deserved to be in this cruel sentence. Being a mistress bitch was never the answer to have a happy ever after, though I hadn’t cared at the time.

  Thinking about my pregnant cousin now hurt even more. Becka was five years older than I. She’s spoiled and gets whatever her little heart desires. She has a rotten personality and loves to demean people around her. She wants to be the only thing that matters, wherever she may be, and she never fails to make that point.

  Ever since I was little, she would always make fun of me, most especially when it came to how I looked. Becka started to call me ‘duckie’ when I was about five years old. To this day, she still did. Her parents and her other two sisters, Brenda and Belle, followed suit. They made a light jest about it. On the outside, I would smile and pretend that it was fine. Deep inside, I was humiliated and embarrassed that I was ugly. The ugly duckling—Duckie.

  My brother, Tristan used to defend me against their taunting, but my defender died when he was sixteen years old. A thrill seeker that thrived by living on the edge, he was surfing in the middle of a storm. The waves were violent and we were told that he fell from his board while he tried to ride one out, but it was too much for him to handle. When he fell, the waves kept pulling him down and it didn’t take long for him to drown. Some onlookers said that they called for help, however it was already too late by the time that help got there. My brother was beyond saving when they pulled his body out of the ocean.

  My parents barely recovered from that, and my family was never the same. My mom took it hard, and to this day, she still gets panic attacks. My father, crushed as he was, tried to communicate with me, but it was difficult and it didn’t take long until the three of us retreated and started to deal with Tristan’s loss all on our own. My father worked more, my mom needed therapy and pills, and I found solace in partying. I was a full-blown party girl by my junior year of high school.

  It’s been four years now since my brother’s death, and nothing’s changed. I’m still troubled, more so now.

  I trapped myself in the cage of my reckless actions. The thought of my parents now gave me grief. My mother will never recover from this latest disaster, if she ever finds out. My grandmother and the rest of my relatives will positively disown me. They were the conservative sort and having Harry’s baby would be criminal.

  Karma. It hurts like a bitch when it lashes back at you.

  ***

  Harry called mid-noon on Sunday. I had to strengthen my resolve before I picked up my phone to answer him. “Hello?”

  “What’s it to be, Trista?” he rushed out, straight to the point.

  There was no mild mannered greeting or an inquiry about my condition… the Harry I fell
in love with, the one who relentlessly chased me until I gave in to his advances, was gone. Hearing him this way made me feel absolutely horrible. “Go set the appointment.” My voice wobbled when I spoke. My tears were endless.

  “Good to know that you’ve come to your senses. I’m pleased. The private clinic is going to be in San Diego. I can’t risk you running in to someone, so it has to be three hours away from home. I will text you once it’s all confirmed.” He didn’t even wait for me to disagree or agree, he simply just hung up on me.

  What a fucking mean, cold-hearted bastard! All I wanted was a little kindness from him, but I didn’t even get that. I mattered so little to him. That knowledge made me feel like the naïve idiot that I really was. What happened to all of his declarations of love? Did it all go downhill the minute I told him I was carrying his seed as well?

  After a few hours, Harry texted me the information as he had promised.

  Appointment is for eleven in the morning. Don’t eat anything past midnight. A car will pick you up at seven-thirty tomorrow. Be ready by then.

  Harry worked everything fast. If I hadn’t been sure before, it was definitely crystal clear now that he certainly didn’t want this kid with me.

  For the entire afternoon, I stuck to the same spot. When nightfall came, I hadn’t made a move. The entire apartment was dark, I didn’t care for any light. Turning them on would only show the kind of rotten being that I was. Because I was rotten, filthy, despicable, deplorable, but most of all, I was completely abominable—a sinner with the large, scarlet letter. Yes, I didn’t deserve the light, hence the darkened surroundings.

  I sat in the dark, immobilized as I gripped my stomach with both arms. It was to be a sacrifice—for love—a sacrifice atop my own. For I knew, once this was all done, my soul was to be given up as well. It was an even exchange for the heinous crime that was to be done.

  Without sound, I stood up and went to the unlit bathroom. I needed a hot bath. Once the water was halfway filled, I slowly took off my clothes. Naked, I slid inside the warm water carefully. Here, in this solemn place, I prayed for my unborn baby.