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  ‘Tis one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall. – William Shakespeare

  Temptation is a wild dance, a tug of war of will, of faith, testing your limits, stretching your boundaries until you succumb to its wicked spell. Once it’s touched you, tainted you, there’s no turning back. It stays with you, feeding your doubts, nurturing your insecurity.

  Love … it can only go so far until it can no longer heal you. When your soul seeks for something darker, an element harder to define, and you find yourself lost, forever searching for that missing piece that promises to complete you, there’s no turning back.

  Like a ticking time bomb, I knew sooner or later, everything would begin to crumble.

  I should’ve known better.

  SAVAGE: UNAPOLOGETIC

  A NOVEL BY

  PAMELA ANN

  Pamela Ann

  SAVAGE: UNAPOLOGETIC

  Copyright © 2017 by Pamela Ann

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without a written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

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  More books by Pamela Ann:

  The Torn Series Order:

  Scornfully Yours

  Scornfully Hers

  Frayed

  Blasphemous

  Undeniably Yours

  Scorned

  Fixated On You

  Christmas With You

  Unveiled

  Crushed

  The Chasing Series:

  Chasing Beautiful

  Chasing Imperfection

  Chasing Paradise

  Chasing Forever (Lucy & Toby)

  Chasing Mrs. Knightly: Epilogue

  Lily’s Mistake

  Loving Drake

  Loving Lily

  British Billionaires Series:

  Falling For My Husband (Callum & Stella)

  Falling For Ava (Reiss & Ava)

  Pieces: A Duet:

  Pieces of You & Me

  Pieces Of Us

  The Encounter Trilogy

  Bartered

  Unleashed

  Vanquished

  Unapologetic

  Unapologetic

  Savage

  My Summer in London

  Imperfect Bastard

  Havoc (Dark Erotica)

  Monza

  “I wish love were not a punishment but for some it ultimately is.”

  – A.R. Asher

  Prologue

  River

  It was three in the morning, and I was beyond exhausted after working nonstop for the past eight hours. I dragged myself to the bedroom as I raked a hand over my hair before stepping inside.

  Darkness greeted me.

  Adjusting my sight, I took a few steps before reaching the foot of the bed, eyes gazing down at the mattress. Exhaustion faded away, awakening my body to a new state of consciousness.

  There she was, sleeping peacefully and gloriously naked. The moon filtered through the french windows, highlighting her gorgeous features.

  My eyes appreciatively roved over her silky skin, her lush curves, sketching her with my ravenous eyes, committing her to memory. Like an artist would his muse, I lavished on her beautiful body.

  She’s mine again.

  Two years of absence. A gaping dark hole that could only be satiated when I had drowned myself to escape the demons that lurked in my mind. Two years of battling this soul-sucking energy, and I had all but given up … until she showed up at my place, stopping me from committing the biggest mistake of my life. Then the void was gone. The demons retreated back to Hell. She was back … and I was fine again.

  I had never been happier, never been so complete, until she came back into my life. She was the drug I needed to survive. She, alone, could make me feel wholly complete. Cara and a guitar was all I required in life.

  I’m going to love her. Love her so fucking hard until she’s get sick of it. I’m going to show her how good we are together. That way, she won’t run away and shut me out of her life again.

  Rounding to her side of the bed, I sat on the side of her hips, intently gazing down at her, famished to taste her on my tongue. With the back of my hand, I traced the soft, dewy skin of her cheek, trailing down to the curve of her breast, then into the sacred spot I worshipped every night.

  “Beautiful,” I murmured when slickness met my finger.

  A soft moan escaped her lips as she gradually parted her thighs, as if she was unconsciously sensing my need for her.

  Perfect.

  Chapter One

  Cara

  Strolling out towards the living room that opened towards the beach, I relished in the glorious view that stretched before my eyes. I let out a satisfying sigh before a soft smile played about my lips. Times like these were treasured and warranted. All the troubled moments I had endured, finding peace within one’s mind, within one’s soul was priceless. And in this very moment, I had gained solace and was at peace with myself. The guilt and the damning voices had all hushed, buried back into the deep trenches of my subconscious, hopefully never to resurface again.

  It had been a few days since we arrived at this beautiful gem of a Spanish bungalow in Capistrano. The honeysweet scent of blooms wafting from the gardens, mixed with the salty air coming from the ocean, stirred my senses to complacency. Lined with palm trees, surrounded by plushy San Diego red bougainvillea hanging around the walls, it was beautifully situated right on the beach. The perfect spot to bask in the breathtaking warmth of sunrises and sunsets.

  I adored waking up with the sun kissing my face as the soft breeze brushed through my hair, lulling me into a serene acquiescence. It gave me a sense of perspective, a leap of faith, believing that the universe wasn’t against me, and that amidst the trivialities and difficulties of my past, I would succeed as long as I gave my entirety to the cause—my cause.

  River found this perfect little hideaway, secure and secluded, distantly away from the prying eyes of the media and the hectic lifestyle it accompanied. A beautiful circus I was glad to have a short reprieve of.

  We weaved a world of our own while having the thrill of our lives. Each day, it was as if we were making up for lost time, enjoying each other’s company. We made love, swam, played some music, dined, watched movies, then made love again by night’s end. It was pure bliss and one vacation that we had desperately needed to cement our newly-minted relationship.

  We had needed to weed out whatever doubt and underlying questions we hadn’t spoken yet. He opened his heart, as did I, stripped from the falsities, baring naked our ugly and once broken souls. It was a terrifying process, but worth the risk. It made our bond stronger. It built a solid foundation. And a rebounded love that surpassed the conflicts, the heartaches, and the downfalls, creating a fiercer heart and a deeper faith in each other.

  Reflecting on the events that transpired a few days ago still sickened me.

  Somehow, River seemed insouciant, serene and carefree, as he smothered me with love and attention each day as if it were the last. He was the ultimate lover.

  Life with him was beyond bliss. It vanished the
shadows that hid in the small crevices of my tattered soul, completing me again.

  Breaking into a gentle smile as I finished applying my light tincture of makeup, I started fixing my hair, allowing my long, dark, silky tresses to cascade down my back before accessorizing it with a pink silk handkerchief. It had prettily complimented the long, white maxi dress and espadrilles.

  Checking side to side that everything was secured, I was just about to walk out of the bathroom when River strode in, magnificently naked, cheekily winking at me.

  “Move your sexy little butt out of the way,” River tittered, lightly tapping my bottom as he headed straight into the white marbled walk-in shower, whistling as he did.

  Even to this day, I still couldn’t get enough of gawking at his perfectly sculpted backside. It was just plain beautiful.

  “You have ten minutes, babe,” I called out, reminding him that our dinner reservation was in twenty minutes, as I watched him get under the hot spray of water.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I heard him say as I left him.

  He had been consumed with writing in his journal while strumming out tunes with his guitar. Once he got in the zone, I normally left him be so he could delve deeply into his creative mind and get his music juju flowing.

  While I waited for him, I toyed with the idea of having a glass of wine before my eyes took an appreciative gaze at the beautiful scenic backdrop. Then my gaze flickered towards the black leather journal, unattended and abandoned on the Spartan couch.

  River had been hanging on to it as though it was his lifeline. I knew it consisted of his dark thoughts and everything in between. I briefly contemplated if I should peek through it, but before I could, River darted out of the bedroom, dressed in preppy chino shorts, boat shoes, and a crew-neck shirt. Yes, the man could pull off dressing like a grunge biker and a preppy model without problem.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting, petal. I’m ready.” He strode towards me then dipped his head and thoroughly kissed me. “Mmm, why are you always so delectable?”

  The fresh scent of his body wash hit my senses and, for a brief moment, I contemplated if we should have another shag session. But, as much as I loved kissing him, if we didn’t get our butts out the door, we would most likely miss our reservation.

  “Later. We can continue this later. We gotta go.” I laughed as I maneuvered us out the door and into his favorite matted Range.

  “Do you have the address?” he asked with an expectant look as he secured his seatbelt.

  Leaning against the cool black leather with languid satisfaction, I shot him a quick glance. “Can’t you Siri it or something? It’s called The Vintage Steakhouse.” Who memorized addresses these days?

  He bore those dark depths into me, lightly mocking, “One of these days, your phone’s going to die. How are you going to function without the AI at your fingertips?”

  “I’m sure I’ll have you or Anton to do all the hard work for me.”

  “Aren’t you the lucky one.” He grinned before pulling out his phone and did as I asked. With Siri’s guidance, we arrived at our destination without a hitch.

  We dined on lobsters and filet mignon. We normally shared what we ate—we were that kind of couple. I wasn’t sure if it was the result of growing up in the same household together, or we were simply made that way. Nevertheless, that was how it was between us, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  While our plates were being taken away, the kind-natured waiter discreetly placed a dessert menu before us.

  Lightly tapping my belly, I let out a satisfying sigh, beaming at the glowing man before me. “I’m stuffed. I feel as though I’m as humongous as Deep Blue.” We watched the shark flick The Shallows, and it similarly looked like the shark we watched on Shark Week named Deep Blue. That gargantuan of a mammal; a ferocious beast on God’s given earth

  There were a few things I was terrified of; with sharks being on top of that list. Oddly enough, I was also fascinated by the beautifully haunting creatures. Someday, I would love to cage dive and see them up close and personal. One surefire way of butting your fears head-on.

  “I don’t know … I feel like dessert.” River skimmed through the list before gazing over at me. “Do you have any space left for anything?”

  I debated if I was a few spoonfuls away from combustion. The more I pondered, the more I realized that these moments were something to be cherished.

  Once I head out to film Clover in Vancouver, and with him releasing an album, our schedules would barely cross paths. Best to enjoy little precious moments with him, because our lives were about to change again.

  “I’ll pick at yours if you don’t mind.” A taste of anything sweet and tarty would be a great remedy to clean my palette.

  “Figured you’d say that.” He snickered before directing his eyes back at the menu. “Okay, let’s have the pistachio cheesecake and Myer lemon tart. Sound good?”

  “Sounds good to me,” I murmured as I took a sip of my wine while letting my heavy-lidded gaze roam about his lovely face, clearly admiring. I had known him all my life, yet I could never get enough of memorizing his face.

  River ordered the treats while my eyes trained on him. Maybe it was the alcohol getting to my brain, but I couldn’t help gushing about how it took me forever to realize that I never stopped loving this sexy, handsome, intelligent goof.

  “You know, Parker said that I couldn’t get anyone better than him? Look at me now, dating the hunky Viking.” I was sure the High and Mighty Parker was having a field day being dumped by some Z-list actress, as he so blatantly claimed I was.

  River’s face grew serious at the very mention of my ex. “You really shouldn’t let him affect you still. I’m not sure if you noticed, but you drone on about him, and I can tell that he’s impaired your confidence. Why let him win over you, babe? If anything, he was fucking too weak to project his shortcomings as a man. It’s not your fault that he’s that way, so don’t let him ruin that beauty in your soul because, if you let him in further, he’s succeeded in destructing that light he sorely lacks.”

  “I didn’t mean it to sound like that … but maybe you’re right. He was passive-aggressive with his jabs.”

  Parker’s insults had stayed with me. Each time I saw food, I would recall his comment about my thighs. It was ludicrous, yet that one particular comment scarred me.

  “It was foolish. I was foolish.”

  River took hold of my hand before kissing my fingertips. “No man should dictate how you eat, babe. Not even me. And if it ever comes to that point, you have my permission to dump my sorry ass.”

  His comment made me elevate my brows, teasing him. “Really? Like you’d really leave me? I tried that route before, remember? And you wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

  A deep-bellied laugh broke out as he shook his head. “But that’s different, babe. I was just saving you from a lot of heartache, so I had to swoop in and save my damsel in distress.”

  Pure crock. I never laughed so hard in my life.

  “Oh, how heroic of you. How am I going to thank you for saving my life?” Laughing with him never failed to give me butterflies. It was the best feeling in the world.

  “Maybe you could start with … you know.” He winked at me.

  “No, I don’t know.” Evidently so, or I wouldn’t be asking.

  He shook his head, grinning from ear-to-ear, slowly sobering up from the riotous laughter. “I just want you, Cara. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from the start.”

  He hadn’t answered my question, had he? I would let him slide for now, but I planned on grilling the answer out of him later.

  “It’s just you and me, River Ellis. Always.” Reaching for his hand, I gave it a light squeeze, as if to say I loved him. Although I kept telling him just how much, sometimes vocalizing my feelings seemed too weird for me. Words were just, well, words. But showing the other person how much you loved them through actions held more meaning than anything else. Actions would never lie. Words
did.

  After paying our check, we drove home, listening to his pre-recorded tracks. He was keen on my opinion of them.

  One that caught me was the song called “Little Red Dress.”

  Beautiful, oh, she’s beautiful

  Smiling with sadness in her eyes,

  Meaning the lies,

  Under the bright lights she hates

  Comfortable in the dark, she fascinates

  Rehearsed politeness but all she wants is to run wild and paint the town red

  Her repressed fire craved to be released

  If she embraced her tenacity, she’d learn to love herself again

  Set yourself free, baby, take off the ball and chain

  Mind you, I hadn’t bridged the subject, but it eerily brought me back to that fated night we met at the rooftop premiere party. The little red dress gave it away.

  There was no mistaking that River loved me. I could hear it in his voice as he sang and through the lyrics. His heart was mine. But the sadness that caused to break us apart could still be felt from his songs. His voice had the power of letting you experience the heartbreak with him. It felt haunting and purely magical.

  After arriving in our rented bungalow, we strode hand in hand, deciding to set up a bonfire a few feet away from the house. Just the warmth of the fire, the sound of the ocean blanketed with the stars above us … it was the perfect way to end the night with me nestled securely in his arms.

  “Looking up the stars like this … with you … brings back a lot of memories.” I sighed in contentment, basking in his presence before looking up at the sparkling little jewels glinting in the midnight blue sky.

  He nipped my ear before he whispered, “How can I forget? You gave me the cherry pop.”

  Did he have to be so crude?

  I lightly pinched him. “Stop,” I groaned with pure embarrassment before deeply blushing. However, I couldn’t help joining in on the laughter. “It’s not that funny.”