Chasing Forever Page 9

  “That’s enough playing, Amelia,” I gritted through my teeth as I wrenched her hand away. How did I find that attractive before? I wondered with confusion. I supposed she was the polar opposite of Lucy and I had wanted to forget every trace of her, so Amelia had fit the bill of a temporary lover. Little had I known that she’d had her own secrets to hide.

  For a second, I saw Amelia look offended, yet she immediately masked it with her usual snooty, defensive appearance. There were times I wondered what went on inside her head. I even went as far as hoping there would be an amiable side to her, that this persona was just a façade, nothing more. However, as time had gone on, I had concluded that there wasn’t much different between the woman within and the woman she appeared to be. I was certain it could be taxing to anyone’s psyche to be that vile and narcissistic around the clock. It was a pity really because she could’ve been extraordinary.

  Watching her warily, I cleared my throat, getting her attention with a quick snap of her fathomless dark eyes. “Have you had dinner?”

  She stared at me awhile. Silence fell in the room as she kept on gazing at me with a forbidding expression. “No.”

  All right, then. Jesus, would she relax and unwind for a moment?

  Shaking my head in dismay, I strode over to the nearby accent table before plucking the menu off the glossy wood. Opening the leather binder, I glanced over the abundant Spanish selection before murmuring, “I’m ordering room service. What can I get you?”

  “I’m not hungry,” she muttered with annoyance.

  Giving her a quick glance, I ignored her blatant pouting. “You need to eat. Even if you aren’t hungry, try to nibble on something at least.”

  She took in a sharp breath, about to explode in a tempter tantrum. “I said—I’m. Not. Hungry.”

  Yeah, her usual antics weren’t going to work, either. “I see. Well, I’m going to order you something anyway. You have to eat it or I’ll feed you myself.”

  “Fuck me and I’ll eat whatever you want!” she threw into the air just when I was about to pick up the phone receiver from its cradle.

  Letting go of the phone, I ground my teeth together before I spun around to face her, throwing the truth in her face. “Never again, Amelia. Besides the fact that I’m divorcing you and you’re taking your sweet bloody time to sign it, I’m done fucking around with my life. It’s time to move forward.”

  Her eyes sharpened, almost squinting at me as if she’d detected something I had no clue about. “Huh,” she huffed. “When’s the last time you had sex?”

  Epic question coming from her, truly. How dare she ask me that? “You have the audacity to question me when everyone in this town, or maybe the entirety of Spain, know about your illicit affair with an influential married man!”

  “Nice try.” She seemed unfazed as she blinked back a few times, fanning her lashes as she probed again, “When was it, Toby?”

  I growled, about to lose my temper, “Drop it, Amelia.”

  “Who is she?” Her hand shook a little as she strode towards me, looking enraged and possessed but with a calm, eerie voice. “Is it your cold, English bitch?”

  That did it. I immediately snapped when the word bitch was said. “Don’t you fucking dare call her that!” I roared inches away from her.

  “I can call her whatever I like,” she screamed into my face, pointing her accusing finger at me. “I’m your wife! Your motherfucking wife! I have the right to everything!”

  “But you aren’t really, are you?” Without my temper in check, my voice boomed about the hotel suite. It even echoed. I was at my last wits, and with Amelia being so stubborn, it made it twice as difficult to mend fences with her. “I can file for annulment if I wanted to, but I was advised not to burden your family of extra humiliation on top of all this.”

  Out of nowhere, she launched herself at me, trying to paw my face, however I swiftly moved the side and it landed on my neck instead. Sharp nails bit into my skin. The burn of flesh being opened made me wince as she scratched with all her might.

  The need to shake her body and put some bloody fucking sense into her was tempting, but even in my fury, logic interrupted, reminding me that I was dealing with a pregnant woman.

  “Bloody Hell! What the fuck did you do that for?” I hissed, hurling the words at her.

  She immediately tried to punch me on the chest before I grabbed her hand. Then she used her other fist to hit my shoulder.

  Moving behind her body, I wrapped both of my arms around her, holding her down in a gridlock as she tried to thrash against me, cursing and screaming profanities in Spanish.

  “Calm the fuck down. You’re acting like a demented woman. A fucking lunatic. Get a hold of yourself!”

  Again, for the second time tonight, her reaction surprised me, baffling me to no end, when she started uncontrollably sobbing.

  I took a moment, absorbing the sharp turn of events. My heart raced against my ribcage while I tried to think what to do next. I hadn’t encountered anything like this—a woman who was a she-devil turning into a broken one who couldn’t stop crying. It was as if she’d held her tears in for such a long time, that our argument seemed to have snapped her composure and weeping immediately came barreling in with nothing to stop it.

  Like a broken dam, Amelia’s cries only became louder, howling as if she was in deep pain.

  Loosening my hold of her whimpering body, I took a deep breath and tried to soothe her. “I’m sorry,” I whispered into her ear, knowing how much I regretted putting ourselves in this predicament. “But you must understand, we need to live our lives. You need to let go of this grudge—it’s ruining you inside. Please, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.” My voice shook when a piercing sound came from her, like a sound or the noise a dying animal would make.

  “Cansado de la vida…” she whimpered before giving another shaky breath, “Cansado… de la… vida…” she kept on muttering in between sobs before dropping to her knees as if she had no energy left.

  Instantly, I was right next to her, sitting as I pulled her body close, resting her head on my lap, stroking her hair then her arm repeatedly as she howled her pain away.

  She cried. Non-stop. Until she no longer could. It had probably been about an hour when she finally became silent.

  Taking a peek at her tear-stained face, I found her fast asleep. I stared at her countenance, really looking at her for the first time. In this state, she looked like any gullible woman, and she probably was. After all the hurt, and I was assuming, betrayal she had endured from her lover, she’d coped the only way she knew how. It was sad that her coping mechanism was the worst kind there was, but who could reason with a broken person? I was one, too, and I remembered Blake and Chad had tried to intervene against my ceaseless acts of destruction. Truthfully, at that time, I couldn’t see anything other than the lacerating pain dislodged inside me, choking me each time I took a breath, killing me slowly from within.

  Heartache could be the cruelest kind of mourning. People died from it. Some might take months, but others readily gave up weeks right after getting their heart smashed into smithereens.

  With care, I slowly took hold of her limp body. The baby bump protruded amidst the sea of fabric of her dress. Guilt settled in as I carried her to the extra bedroom in the suite. Pulling the covers down, I placed her in the middle of the soft mattress and covered her body with the feather comforter.

  Looking down on her, I felt a harsh stab of regret—of sadness and maybe a little guilt. Even though she didn’t love me that way, I knew that I somehow had caused her injury, even if it was on a smaller scale compared to her other heartaches.

  Had she always been this way? Seeing her breakdown had made me doubt that. She probably had been impressionable, arms wide open for love, and unfortunately, had chosen the wrong men in her life. They’d bulldozed her with endless promises before she’d fully given them her trust. However, once they’d had it, they had taken advantage of her gullibility and
thrown her heart away. It was true, her heart had been broken. The only difference now was that she also had a broken soul and destroyed spirit.

  Poor Amelia, I thought sadly.

  Remorse situated deeply in me, but even then, it wasn’t enough for me to sacrifice my life to help her fix her own.

  After all, life was a battle we each had to endure, hoping that we wouldn’t get crushed by its heavy lashing.

  Chapter 13

  Toby

  The following morning, I awoke from the sound of the doorbell, the door being opened, and then some shuffling here and there before the room quieted again.

  Raking a hand through my hair, I thought to myself that I needed a haircut whilst reaching for my phone on the nightstand, checking the time. Nine in the morning.

  When did Amelia say the appointment was? I wondered as I slid off the bed and strode over to the closet to put a robe on. I had slept in my boxer-briefs like I always did, but I didn’t want to look indecent when checking on Amelia.

  Loosely knotting the complimentary plush robe, I strode out the door barefoot. The harsh, Spanish sun filtered through the massive expanse of glass, blinding me a moment. When I finally squinted my eyes open, I saw Amelia sitting on the couch, nibbling on fresh fruits and cream, face naked of artifice and in the same state as I was—dressed in a robe and a little exhausted.

  “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” Slowly moving towards her, I sat on the opposite side, studying her awhile, wondering if I could see traces of the woman from last night.

  She made a wan smile, barely meeting my gaze. “Surprisingly I did.” She didn’t add anything after that as she focused on dipping a strawberry in the cream bowl before bringing it in between her lips and taking half a bite.

  “What time did you say the doctor’s appointment was?” I asked as I reached for a raspberry and slipped it in my mouth, savoring the sweetness as it broke apart on my tongue.

  “I can call him thirty minutes before we leave. He’ll see me first before his other clients.” Of course she was a priority. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.

  I decided that the woman before me was still reeling from the events last night; a mixture of gullibility and stubbornness. Today should be interesting.

  “Amelia, about last night...” I cleared my throat. “I was beyond harsh, and for a moment, I had forgotten that you are pregnant.” Seeking her eyes, she quietly stared back at me. “I apologize for what happened.”

  She made a sad smile at my words. “You know what I thought before I fell asleep?”

  “Hmm?”

  “That you were actually a loving, sweet man. Had it been you that I fell for, I think I would end up being a happy woman.” Her voice held melancholy, reminding me of the woman from last night crying herself to sleep on my lap.

  “I don’t want to be your enemy. I hope you realize that.”

  She nodded, breaking eye contact. “I know,” she whispered. “I’ve known all along.”

  To me, she seemed complacent, as if she’d had an epiphany or something. The old Amelia would never converse with me this way, or let alone, admit any of this. And even though last night had shocked me to no end, I must admit that this new version of her was likeable. If co-parenting was in our future, I would feel much more comfortable leaving our child in her care.

  After our light breakfast, we immediately started getting ready to leave for the doctors after Amelia’s quick call to make sure that they knew she was coming. Leaving the hotel, Amelia’s chauffeured car took us to our destination.

  Anticipation and anxiety invaded me to no end. You see, this would be the first ultrasound I’d ever been to; back in the beginning, I had acted like a spoilt bastard.

  Feeling remorseful for my past actions, I quietly vowed that I would go to as many appointments as I could, even if I had great doubts about the child’s paternity. Either way, I decided that I’d rather deal with this situation as delicately as I could. If the child turned out to be mine, then that would be lovely. If it weren’t, then at least I wouldn’t have to deal with regrets. My life as of late had been filled with them, one after the other.

  Shifting my face away from the window towards Amelia, she somehow looked pale even with her tanned skin and red lipstick. “Are you feeling better?” Reaching out to her, I gave her arm a light squeeze, as if wanting to transfer some of my strength to her. She looked like she needed it somehow. She blinked a few times as if she was bringing herself back to the present, like her thoughts were somewhere far off, before she glanced at me with confusion. “Are you all right?” Her behavior was starting to worry me. “It’s going to be fine. I’m going to try and be here for every appointment from now on, okay?”

  She barely acknowledged what I had just said, which threw me off a tad because, before her mini breakdown, this would’ve been quite a big deal. Right at this moment, though, she simply brushed it off, asking, “When are you leaving?”

  “Tomorrow before lunch,” I informed her, not taking my eyes away from her odd reaction. “We can go baby shopping later in the afternoon if you’re up for it.” Which only made me wonder again, “Have you bought any baby furniture and the lot?”

  “Last month, I purchased tiny, pink lace booties.” Her voice was hollow as she looked away, glancing towards the window.

  I supposed that was a start. “Well, we can go ahead and add more to the collection if you’re willing. I wouldn’t mind walking about and being surrounded with pink frills and all those baby things.”

  “Sure.” That was all she said.

  It looked like she didn’t want to be bothered so I let her be, leaving her in her own world while my thoughts lingered on last night and how her feistiness had turned into something that I wasn’t accustomed to.

  Ten minutes later, the driver stopped in front of a private clinic.

  Pushing down the lump in my throat, I stepped out of the vehicle, wondering what it would be like to see the baby for the first time. People did this sort of thing on a daily basis. There was nothing to be nervous of, surely.

  Striding over to Amelia’s side, I opened the door for her, offering my hand to help her out of her seat. She didn’t hesitate to take it, and when she did, I was surprised to find her hand was freezing cold in the hot, Spanish summer. It was beyond strange.

  “Goodness, you’re cold. Why didn’t you say so? We could’ve gotten you a light wrap to put around you,” I said with worry, my brows furrowing at her, wondering what the bloody hell was going on with her.

  “I’m fine,” she quietly said, nodding towards me to follow her inside the glass doors. “Come on.”

  Taking a mental note, I made sure to remember that I needed to address a lot of things with her tonight before I left back to England tomorrow. Before, I wouldn’t have cared about what Amelia did, yet for some reason, after last night, I somehow felt the need to look out for her.

  It was a peculiar feeling, especially when it came to her. Life was full of punches and surprises. I could attest to that.

  Chapter 14

  Toby

  The kind looking nurse ushered us into a dark room with one beaming light coming from a blank screen before quietly closing the door behind us, leaving us there.

  Amelia strolled forward before placing her purse on the white table against the wall while my eyes scoured for the light switch.

  “Don’t. I want it this way,” she said behind me the second I was about to press the switch.

  “Of course. Whatever suits you best,” I replied, clearing my throat as she slowly took her dress off, then her undergarments came next. Transfixed at the naked sight of her with the baby bump, I watched as she took the hospital gown splayed across the medical table before casually putting it on without giving me a glance.

  “The baby looks bigger…” Compared from last night, my mind blurted out. “What do we do next? Just wait for the doctor to show up, then?” This was my first time, after all. Naturally, I was curious to know how the
se things worked.

  “You can bring a chair and sit next to me if you like,” she offered as she stepped next to the medical chair and slid on it, situating herself on top of the paper covered recliner before closing her eyes.

  Moving towards the side of the wall, I took a chair and quietly placed it at her side. Just when I was about to sit on the cushioned seat, the door cracked open and an older, male doctor with salt and pepper hair came in.

  “¡Hola, Señorita Mendoza! ¿Cómo vamos?” he greeted as he strode inside the room, stopping in his tracks when he found me sitting next to Amelia. “Hola, Señor Watson. It’s time you join us, sí?” He gave me an approving smile as he continued towards Amelia.

  They quietly exchanged words in Spanish, and since I wasn’t fluent with the language and could only manage around the country with knowledge of the basics, I ended up trying to figure out what they were discussing. Based on his tone, he seemed to be asking her questions like, what her daily diet was usually, or if she had been meticulously taking her pre-natal vitamins, to which she responded that she was taking them a few times a week instead of on a daily basis.

  Goodness, what had she been doing? She seemed to be misguided when it came to taking care of the baby in her womb. I didn’t even doubt that she would unintentionally skip meals, leaving the unborn baby with no nutrition for quite some time. I needed to speak to the chef, Leta, that used to make meals for us in our marital home. When I left her, I hadn’t thought about reminding the staff about making sure that she was taking small meals even if she didn’t feel like it. I had assumed that they, the staff, would gradually put that into their routine. Unfortunately, I had been wrong about that.

  My ears were still trying to tune into the conversation when my phone beeped, indicating a message. Shifting to my side and away from their view, I checked who it was. Blake Knightly.

  Two missed calls, a voice message and one text message, all from the bloody man himself. Bastard, did he miss me that much? I smirked at the thought of it. Opening his virtual mail, my eyes scanned the message.