Chasing Forever Page 14

  With the gate opening then closing, I strode towards the modern Victorian house before producing a key to enter into the lavishly decorated foyer, closing the door as quietly as I could. Making an effort to pause and peal my ears for any indication that the two were up and about, I was greeted with nothing except quietness, so I proceeded towards the stairs and into the hallway towards their bedroom. Hiding back a smile as I bit into my lip, I hoped that those two weren’t in the midst of shagging as I gently pushed the bedroom door open.

  Their two dogs immediately perked up, especially Santini, the husky. It looked like he was about to bark until he recognized who it was, then he went back on his spot, right next to Blake’s feet.

  The two were beyond knackered it seemed because there was a wide space in between their snoozing bodies.

  I knew it wasn’t the time to be silly, but it had been ages since I’d had good fun, and this opportunity was just as good as any. I took my shoes off and made my way towards the bed, scooting myself with caution as I held on to the coffee tray consisting of scalding hot beverages. I didn’t breathe until my body was resting against the black, tufted headboard, contemplating what I should do first when Blake made a muffled sound.

  Peeking at his side, my eyebrows rose when I saw his wide expanse of tanned, chiseled chest. Was he… naked underneath? The bloody thought hadn’t occurred to me.

  OH. My. Fuck!!! This was a chance in a billion trillion.

  Shifting towards Sienna’s back, I somehow wiggled my way into the comforter before braving it out and taking a peek just to get an answer for my curious mind. And violà! His bloody tight arse was shaped to perfection no less.

  Stifling my giggle, I lifted my left foot, bringing it towards his golden bottom. With the help of my big toe, starting from the top, I brushed it along the crack ever so smoothly, making sure I didn’t make the mistake of pressing it deeper into the crevice as I went along. My touch was light, feathery soft, but Blake noticed.

  “Sienna…” he muttered. “My cock is hard and ready for a ride, cara.”

  Christ Almighty! Such a horny bastard, I thought wickedly as I remembered how Sienna usually talked to him.

  In a low whisper, I went further into the joke. “How do you like it, baby?”

  “Fuck me hard. Milk it good,” he grunted out, sounding more awake than the last time.

  Oh, God. This was epic.

  “My, Blake Knightly! What a dirty, naughty boy you are.”

  His entire body froze, arse stiffening as he slowly twisted to his side with a horrified, camera-worthy look on his face.

  “Fucking Hell, Lucy!” he screeched before barking a deep-bellied laugh that reverberated throughout the room, which woke Sienna.

  “Blake! You’re hurting my ears!” she grumbled, half sitting before she cocked her head to the side and saw me. “Holy shit—you’re here! What happened?” She looked rattled, but one glance at her husband softened her features.

  He paused laughing enough to say, “Would you believe Lucy had her toe in my arse and I had begged you to shag me?” He started tearing away, as if it was the funniest joke ever.

  It was funny until I analyzed his words… “Am I that repulsive?” I asked in disbelief, looking at him then Sienna.

  “No. Why would you even ask that?” Sienna frowned as she reached over and plucked her coffee off the tray. “You didn’t bring anything to go along with this?” she asked as she took a sip, tasting the coffee before nodding her approval.

  “Like what? A side of Blake’s golden sausage?”

  She snorted, rolling her eyes. “No, silly. Madeleines, cheese Danish, chocolate croissant? And as for the sausage, trust me, it’s not that golden.” She gave me a knowing look, shaking her head as if it was the saddest thing.

  “Such a disappointment.” I feigned sadness.

  “Hey—Hey!” Blake glowered, obviously noting our conversation. “What’s with the rubbish talk? Let’s keep it civilized.” He then gave his wife a heated gaze, smoldering with sexual innuendo. “Wife, I look forward to you on your knees, begging. Have fun with your meat-free, vegetarian diet.”

  His intense gaze then went to me, making me hide a smile as he lifted his brow. “What brings you to share my bed? My best friend might murder me for this.”

  The mention of him brought me out of our silly banter. “I came to talk about him, as a matter of fact. Sleep evaded me last night, so I thought I’d make an early run for coffee and surprise you both.” After I had handed him his coffee, he thanked me as he took a sip then placed it on the side table.

  “I need to change into something, then we’ll discuss him, if you don’t mind.”

  “Go right on ahead,” I said, not realizing that he was slipping out of the bed stark naked then proceeding to walk towards the en-suite with no care what so ever. “Fuck, Knightly!” I was aghast, yet I couldn’t look away from perfection.

  “Babe, I think you’ve traumatized her enough. You can carry on getting ready,” Sienna mused, watching him disappear with an expression that said that she was truly smitten and in love with him.

  “I hated Amelia,” she started to say, bringing my gaze to look at her before she continued. “When she came in between us and broke us apart, I never truly got over it. Not with Camilla or Ivanna, either. Well, not until I attended Amelia’s funeral…” She trailed off. “I saw her parents look at Blake in a certain way. I knew they didn’t blame him for the cause of her death, but they had this bereaved look… like they were wondering why he couldn’t have loved their daughter the way she’d obsessed over him.”

  “Oh, Sienna.” I reached out to her, holding her hand and giving it a light squeeze. “I don’t want you to remember these horrid events. It wasn’t my intention—”

  “No. Of course I know that, Luce, but all I’m saying is that I actually felt bad. I felt sorry for her. It must’ve been grueling to see the man you love be happy with someone else. I now understand her pain.”

  Amelia had truly been one difficult character to understand. She had been covered in layers upon layers, hiding the real woman underneath the sass, the bite and the sharp tongue. I understood her, too, in a way. Yet, I still couldn’t fathom the string of pain she had caused for so many people because she had been hurting inside. There was no excuse for such callous behavior, no matter the depth of your bereavement.

  We all had our crosses to bear, and it was up to each person how to carry on with that heavy pillar pressing against them, weighing them down until they could no longer take another step on the dusty, cobbled road ahead of them. Or one could at least try, persevere and hope for the best; that sooner rather than later the roads ahead would start to clear their way, making their feet ache less from each step they took.

  The cross would always be there, no matter where you went, no matter the stages in life. You just had to endure. You had to appreciate the pain even if it gutted you alive. You had to withstand it all, knowing that others had it worse than you, and yet, they had come out celebrating the journey, proudly bearing their scars. Trusting and loving oneself was the key to not giving up faith, believing that, someday, it would be you rejoicing your journey.

  Our mood was somber when Blake strode out with a questioning look about him. I hadn’t come here to bring back the past, I’d come here to deal with present problems.

  “I need a key to his place.”

  “You could ask him, you know. Have you ever thought of that?”

  I gave Blake a you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look. “You know he won’t, so why ask?”

  Blake shrugged before sitting on the foot of the bed, taking Santini in his arms and showering him with kisses. “He’s having such a gutting time, Luce. Baiting him with something he couldn’t have would be downright cruel.”

  “How is wanting to make sure he’s okay considered cruel?”

  He arched one aristocratic brow. “Need you ask?”

  Well, then… “What if I could help? What if I can get through
to him, be there with him?”

  “This will put him in a severe situation. What happens when you fancy dating another man? No,” he shook his head disapprovingly, “I will not see my best friend go through another round of hell, Luce.”

  “He’s got a point,” Sienna interjected, agreeing with him.

  Hurting him wasn’t my intention. I just—I needed to see him, to make sure he was okay. I just needed to… “I can’t say I blame you both for protecting him, but I just want you guys to trust me. I promise I won’t hurt him—I swear on my life. Please, trust me on this?”

  Blake was tormented. He didn’t want to break his friend’s trust, yet he knew that he had to save him somehow. “He hasn’t returned my calls, nor has he opened his library door to let me in. He’s holing up in there, quite possibly drowning himself in alcohol. Heavens knows when he’ll eventually resurface.”

  I had heard about his alcohol problem after he and I had broken up. However, whenever I had seen him before, he had seemed fine and could handle his drinks like the usual man I’d dated back in the day.

  “Guess this is better than not doing much of anything at all. Our efforts aren’t working, so maybe Lucy’s method will,” Sienna said as she got up with her silk chemise, showing a great amount of skin and her toned curves from her dancing. She rummaged into her purse before plucking out her keys. She then took one out, throwing it towards me. It landed on the side of my leg.

  “If he asks about the key, I had nothing to do with it.” Blake took it from the sheet and handed it to me.

  “Thank you!” I jumped out of bed, showering them with floating kisses as I slipped into my shoes and walked out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t want to give them a chance to change their minds, and of course, I also couldn’t deny the obvious, that I wanted to head straight to his house in Hyde Park on Park Lane.

  Since it was early with not much traffic activity, it didn’t take long until for me to reach his place. My enthusiasm had died down the moment I got out of the cab and stood outside his home, dauntingly eyeing it with anxiety.

  Go on, what are you waiting for? My mind mocked me as I began to move towards the steps, pulling the silver key from my pocket and inserting it into the keyhole.

  Once inside, I could faintly hear music drifting somewhere from the hall as I slowly made my way deeper into the house. In the kitchen, I staggered, finding paper bags from different restaurants containing his favorite dishes had been left untouched. The opposite wall had boxes of liquor. If I had no idea where I was, I’d think someone was throwing a party. Well, maybe he was—a party for one.

  Following the music, I halted outside his library door.

  “Toby?” I knocked a few times, one louder than the other. “Are you in here?” I pushed my weight on the door, prying the knob to budge open, but nothing worked. Giving a few more knocks and still nothing, I sighed, figuring that he’d come out sooner or later.

  Besides, overtiredness made me dizzy, so I strode towards the living room, looking for the perfect place to rest for a little while as I waited on him to come out of his hiding.

  I just needed a shuteye, an hour tops.

  Chapter 23

  Lucy

  “Lucy?”

  The sound of his stricken voice stinging my eardrums immediately woke me out of my dream. Sitting up, I brushed the hair off my face when I saw him stride towards me like a dark, fallen angel. The asshole kind.

  “What are you doing here?” His eyes flicked up and down, noting how shabby and sleepy I was. “You’ve been here this whole time?”

  Why was he glaring at me like I was some unknown intruder?

  Sighing, I gazed at him apologetically. “Sort of.”

  He brooded some more. “Do you need something?”

  Rude much? His unfeeling demeanor was getting to be too much. Since I had somewhat trespassed, though, I couldn’t really blame him. “Not really. I thought you’d like company.”

  “How hard is it to understand that I need to be alone?” He sounded grating, condescending.

  With a shaky breath, I got onto my feet, looking sorry. “Let me be here for you, Toby.”

  I saw him flinch, as if it was the last thing he wanted because it was coming from me.

  “There’s a spare room upstairs. You can use that for tonight, but please be out of here by morning.”

  He had never spoken to me that way. Never.

  “You don’t mean that—that’s a little harsh.”

  “Harsh?” He looked a tad offended, blue eyes turned into something dark, almost black. “You’re one to talk about harsh! Don’t you remember how harsh you were when you so callously threw me out of your life?”

  We were back there again. Unfortunately.

  It always came back to the root of everything—our demise. “I’m sorry…” I apologized. “There’s nothing I can do to change the past. Dwelling on it won’t help—weren’t you the one to suggest that we stay friends before? Well, here I am, wanting to be one—”

  He brushed my words to the side. “There’s nothing I want—not a fucking damn thing!”

  Opening my mouth, I wanted to say something about how our bond had become stronger in Madrid, but what had come out of his mouth had offended me to no end.

  “Please leave.”

  I was beyond hurt, but I wanted to be strong, braver; to help him battle his own terrors. “No.” I stood my ground. His words had cut deep, however I’d take on as much as I could until I could no longer withstand it. I had to keep trying, I supposed.

  Toby flashed me an irritated look. “I’m too drunk to have you around.”

  “I don’t mind you drunk.” I didn’t mind him. Period.

  He huffed, looking at me heatedly. “Well, you should.”

  “Well, I don’t.” My skin flushed from his thorough perusal. If this was his tactic to scare me off, he should do better.

  Our gazes connected like magnets, attracting each other. I felt the power of his pull overpowering my body as he progressed towards me.

  “I want to fuck you, Luce. I can still remember how it is to break you open while I slowly sheath my greedy cock with your sweet warmth. You would sob, cry out my name, as I piston in and out of you. All the while looking at you gloriously wild with abandon…” Blatantly, he stared at the slopes of my breasts before taking out his tongue, licking the bottom of his lip as he drugged me with carnal, explicit thoughts. “You gave me the world… for quite some time…”

  My chest heaved, nipples aching from the command of his sight, mouth thirsty to taste him… all of him.

  “But…” he trailed off, continuing being vicious. “Then we were off to shag different people, right? Did you like the other men enjoying you the way I did? Did they pleasure you just the way you liked it?”

  They were thorns not daggers, yet it still penetrated me, piercing small holes into my heart, bleeding me gently. “No. There’s no one like you.”

  He huffed, stepping closer to read my depths, taking me in. Drowning me in his eyes. “I love… the way you lie.”

  “You’re hurting me, Toby. Let me in. Let me stay. I want to help…” Common sense left me as I bared a little of myself again, needing to let him in.

  He gave me a sharp look, raising his cocky brow. “You’re offering your body to temporarily ease my pain?”

  He would never, would he? The old Toby was all heart. I had to call his bluff. “If that’s what it takes, then yes.”

  “Even if I fuck just for my own pleasure?”

  Selfish, but I nodded anyway. “Yes.”

  He gauged me again, as if I had already deceived him once. “Remind me again why you’re freely offering your body now when it was just mere weeks ago that you couldn’t wait to get rid of me in Rome? Do you know how it felt having you that night, feeling as if we were back to the way we once were and then waking up alone in your bed?”

  This man was on a roll. I had to gather my thoughts and ignore my wanton body. “I had t
o think—away from you. It was too complicated…”

  “Maybe if you’d tried a little harder, it wouldn’t be as such.”

  I flinched. He was making me an emotional punching bag, and I was letting it happen. The countless wrongs I had caused him made me glaze over the words that came out of his mouth. Underneath all the hateful words lay the man I loved. I would endure the wrath of his tongue if it would make him feel a little less angry. I would do it all for him.

  Calling his bluff, I led the way.

  Taking my pants down, I stepped out of them, only wearing my thong and my loosened top. I was about to take off the rest of my clothing when his words halted me once more.

  “You like to strip for the guys now? That’s something new.” There was laughter in his voice, as if he was making fun at my expense.

  The blows kept on coming. How far would he go to hurt me? I wondered before he answered it for me.

  “What new tricks did you learn from your other lovers, huh? What does that boyfriend of yours like to do to you?” He was almost sneering, as if disgusted at me.

  Keep calm, I urged myself. “I’m not seeing him anymore.”

  He snorted before he stalked behind me, his lips brushing my ear. “How beautiful you look whilst lying, Lucy.”

  I was in blissful Heaven. In Hell. In pure ecstasy. In the depths of the scorching inferno. A twilight zone of his own making.

  “Aren’t you going to finishing stripping for me, my dear Lucy?” His brow rose, mocking me.

  Slowly, I stripped. All the while he watched me with brooding fascination. When my body was fully exposed, I directed him a serious look. “Where do you want me?”

  “Come here, but come to me slowly,” he commanded. “Then you may undress me.”